Bare it all!

On days like this, I go crazy (in a happy way) no matter how hard I try not to. I'm thankful for the obvious numerous blessings Onyekeruwa bestowed on me and for the things we call small. I'm here because He let me!


 Akamha! Nna m! The void you left can never be filled but the woman you left with us is so strong willed, loving, kind, prayerful.... I'm glad you made her my mum! The man in her strives to keep us safe but the woman she is cries when no one is looking. I don't pray much beyond listening to Cohbams and Kirk Franklin. When words fail me, like it does most times, music is all I've got. Yet He blesses me every passing second. Seems Akamha is still whispering, constantly reminding Him that I'm his precious girl in need of grace. Don't stop, daddy, or your little girl is doomed! Hope I didn't disappoint you much this year, pa!

Chidi, Ada, Nkechi, Emezie, Onyeka...but for you, no one will take a first chance with me! Growing up, we never had it all! We still don't but I won't give up memories made with you guys for anything in the world! In place of taking biscuits to church, we took chewing sticks. While kids watched movies and dressed for parties, we

chased rats and chickens. In place of scrabble, we hugged transformers, played hangman in the real meaning of the word...ours is a toppled cart of blessings and I'm glad for the future!

Uzo, Dee...my little mummys toh badt gaan! I often forget to say thank you. How you guys tolerate me humbles me. I love you both and all what you bring. Please don't shut your wardrobes yet cos I'm running out of clothes and bags. 

Tobe, Chuka...All I hear is You guys keep deceiving yourselves. Whenever  I say I hung out with Tobe, Chuka and their girlfriends, people often ask "How do you hang out with your boyfriends at the same time? They equally bring girls along and you don't care? You are too liberal...you are such a white woman! Lol! These are my men! We talk about things most avoid! Chuka once asked me "...does this thing...this albino thing bother you!?" Lol! Oh yeah it does! Have you ever sat and watched people talk about you like you ain't there? Have you ever followed a guy home and the mum took him aside to ask him in a glorified whisper if it is albino he's bringing home to her? How his dead father would roll in his grave in shame? Oh yeah! I still remember the day he called to complain about his wife (the one his mum approved). When he was done, I asked him to look at the half full part - she's not albino! I wish to say I didn't smile with a grateful heart when that call ended but I can't. 

I'm thankful for those favors we call small -  for finding a toilet when I have runny stomach, for making my smile wider to people who call me from a distance though I cant see them, for my free ride to and fro work, for peeing on the road and not dying of curses, for bouncing back without a after being robbed, for days I live without accidents, for falling off a bike and not breaking a bone - Chukwu obioma, you see me!

To the handsome man in my life (whose name I can't mention cos I might be doing this with another man's name next year), you've made sense so far. I've loved you yesterday, I love you today, when tomorrow comes, I hope to say same!


I did fail this year in more years than one but then I do not fail at the same thing twice. Life is so much less satisfying than a fiction. Time has made me stronger. Experiences left me wiser.  Behind my veil is a smile, a tear, fear, light, shadows, flight, laughter, a snare, a truth, a journey, a story, glory, shame, beauty, pain, me, more veils....!

  
"...here i am lord, grateful and in need of you 
I am greater than my yesterdays 
You hold me close today  
You are the lord of my tomorrows..."


 I love you all no doubt!
I am still an incomparable shade of black!

 Photo credit: @emezieasogwa