The race

"Warm up! Warm up! lts time to start the race. DJ,  get on the beat...!" Right at TBS, my friend, Tobe and I hopped up and down like squirrels. It was We Run Logos, a marathon event that takes place annually and we were ready to run.

Ready ke? That was far from what we were. I could barely walk for two straight minutes, talk less of run from TBS to National Stadium. That's a two hour journey in a fast moving car. Tobe's case was worse than mine. He's so lazy. That he opens his eyes when he wakes up is because he has to. He's as lean as Boy Alinko and walks like someone that a little harmattan breeze can blow away. The determination on his face was admirable.

"Nne baby,  I will not wait for you o! If you cannot meet up with my pace, I'll leave you o...". Tobe went on and on. He punctuated his every statement with 'o' to drive home his very important points.

And the whistle went off. The marathon don start o! Just like twenty steps into the race, I realised that joining the race was the worst decision ever. People zoomed past us like shooting stars. No! These must be the aliens amongst us. One could hear our heavy thuds on the ground miles away from us. Two minutes after we started the race, I felt like I was carrying a big bag of rice on my chest. Hope I don't have a stroke! But I continued, though a crawling toddler could've overtaken me easily. I continued 'running'. I was so engrossed in my effort not to fall down and die that I didn't realise that my Tobe wasn't with me anymore. Hian! Where could he be? I sha took the opportunity that I couldn't find him to stop and catch my breath. I looked left, right, up, down... he was nowhere! After I was sure that I was well rested, I called him and he said he was right behind me sitting on the ground. The lovely pitch normally in his voice was replaced with heavy pants and tiredness. Haha! But wait! Sitting?!  This is a race! Or do people run with their bums? I walked back and there he was sitting on something that looked like a mad man's load of crap. Immediately he saw me, he jumped up and paced about like he was warming up to zoom off like Danger Mouse. It was laughable. "Nne, let's go! We are almost there!" He was almost fainting and his "let's go" sounded like a silent plea to just jump a bus headed to the finish line.

At the foot of Eko bridge, we both came to a halt. Geez! Is this a bridge or Mount Everest? Naaaaaaa! Naaaaaaa!! I'm so not climbing that. We were both bent over, holding our knees for support. I don't know what asthma feels like but I'm so sure I needed an inhaler.

"Nne, please, call a cab", Tobe said.

Hahaha! I gladly accepted. What took him so long? Lo and behold, all the cabs and buses were occupied by unfit people like us. People! This is a race, not sight seeing in a pool car! Every bone in my body screamed. Choi!

We both sat on the ground and I silently cursed whatever made me join the race. The sun wasn't helping. Normally, Tobe does all the pep talk and I do all the listening, but when I saw him shifting some empty sachets of water and canned drinks so he could lie down by the side of the road, I realised there was no hope.

"Tobe, a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step..."

He didn't allow me finish "Nne, I've taken over a thousand steps and this journey hasn't even started. Do you know how far away from the finish line we are? We would reach CMS, then Apongbon, then the long bridge before Costain, then....ah...no oh!"

"Well, this sun is burning me and my toes are on fire and I planned sleeping all through today before you came up with this silly idea of a race..." I nagged and nagged until he stood up (who said I was good at pep talk?)

We ran...jogged...ran...fast trekked...then strolled. Better be late than 'the late' never made more meaning to me. And finally, we saw the stadium, the finish line. What joy! Our strength miraculously returned and we ran to it like our lives depended on it. My toes were hot. People were lined up at the finish line and when we crossed, they cheered loudly. Erm....did we come first?

Well, that aside. My toes kept sending reports to me to release them. I quickly sat on the floor, removed my feet from the tight footwear, grabbed a bottle of water from my back pack and before I could tell that someone was saying "DON'T" to me, I emptied the water on my feet. Ewooooo! My toes went shaaaaaaaaa like akara in hot oil! I could see bubbles. I screamed in pain. What have I been wearing? Frying pan? Tobe kept laughing like I was kidding. Foolish! Some nurses rushed to my rescue and before I knew what was happening, they cut my already swollen toe with a scalpel and pus and blood gushed out. Tobe fainted at the sight! Perfect! He had to make this about him! Mtchew! They carried us into the back of a waiting ambulance and treated us.

We both got a pair of sneakers for coming last! But no matter the number of sneakers, I would never, ever try this again. Whew!