Back in time (4)

Childhood was beautiful. Those were fun times. There were ups and downs but, have no doubt that whenever I look back to how we were, I'd always end up smiling foolishly.

Dad always had a story to tell and he was really good at it. His stories ranged from boring stuff about family, life and future to funny stories that left us rolling on the floor with laughter. It was one of those story days and dad chose to tell us war stories. He said a lot of captivating and heart breaking stuff but the only part that got stuck in our brains was how hunger made them eat rats. Sometimes they ate them raw cos there was no fire...

...and that was how we became rat hunters. There was no war but we were hungry and since there was always fire, we didn't have to eat them raw (thank God). We took the hunting really seriously. 

Just when deep freezers started reigning in Nsukka, mum bought one. NEPA kinda knew cos that was when they chose to seize power for over a year. We unconsciously turned the freezer into a table, bookshelf and a perfect hide and seek spot. Finally, rats also saw it as a home and built their mansions in it. One could see generations of rats gathered around their tables.

It worked perfectly for us. We fed them our clothes, books and food crumbs. We would go around after mass collecting bulletins to feed our meat-to-be. And every Saturday, we would take a peek at them to see if any was 'ripe' for eating. Whew! It was mighty amazing!

It was one of those long vacations that got the house so full with cousins and family friends. We fed our rats and waited patiently for the holiday to be almost ended so we could harvest and have ourselves a feast. That day finally came. As usual, Ogboo headed the troupe of soldiers. He dished out the rules of engagement - DO NOT KILL THE BABY RATS. YOU GET THE HEAD OF ANY RAT YOU KILL. He said it like a million times so we could understand the importance. He then sent us out to every nook and crany of the house to block all viable rat escape routes. And finally, with so much care, we pushed the deep freezer to the centre of the room then gathered around it with sticks and brooms.

Ogboo then pulled off the carton that covered the fridge, releasing all the rats in different directions. Gboom! Kom! Daam! Boom!....different sounds as weapons made impact with either the floor or a rat. We also added our own little screams here and there to punctuate our excitement.

....one down... five down... six down...it was a nice hunt. Just when we thought we were done for the day, the biggest of all rats in history sluggishly crawled out of the fridge. Hey! We went after it. But somehow, we all surrounded our victim and chose that tiny split of minute that it could escape to wonder if our sticks were hard enough to kill it. And just like the Jackie Chan movies, the rat ran towards me. I lifted my stick and hit it over and over again and with every hit, my cousin, Toochi, screamed. He must be really excited, I thought. My siblings dropped their weapons and rallied around him. I wanted to ask what was going on but the rat was more important to me. Surprisingly, the rat was nowhere to be found.


Hian! Didn't I just pound it severally? I kept wandering the whole place looking for it when my sister, Egoonu, pulled me by the ear towards my cousin. I screamed in pain wondering what I did wrong.

"See! See what you did!", she shouted pointing at Toochi's head
Lo and behold, his head was swollen at several points making him look like a mini dragon. I did that? How?
"Why did you hit him with your stick?", Ogboo screamed
Me? When? Omg! Was he the rat? My God! I really need to ask mum to get me a new pair of glasses. Poor Toochi. I was sober and sad. Ojiugo then pressed really hard on each of the swells but that didn't help. I sat beside him and said sorry like a million times while the rest cleared the scattered house.

"I must kill the rat that caused all this ", Ogboo declared. Ghen ghen! He searched everywhere scattering what the rest just arranged. They didn't complain. Afterall, he is the boss and he was on a good cause. I still sat dutifully beside Toochi when Ogboo came back with the rat. He assured Toochi that he (Toochi) gets to eat the head and tail of the troublesome rat.

We then gathered the rats for cooking. It was a simple process. Roast to remove all the hair, butcher to remove all the intestines, spice and boil to taste and finally, fry! It was better fried with red oil than groundnut oil so as not to loose the traditional feeling (whatever that meant).

Just as we got ready to share and eat our delicacy, our neighbours arrived. Nyonyo, Ikechukwu and Ifeanyi. Aha! In the neighborhood where I grew up, there were plenty 'tuush' people but us. In a 'city', we were the villagers. We reared all sorts of animals in that little house. It was bad enough being called animal rearers at school. We couldn't afford adding rat eaters to it so we hid the rats hoping they would leave soon so we could continue with our fun.

"I smell fried goat meat", Nyonyo said
Na wa o!
"Me too", Ikechukwu and Ifeanyi replied like backup singers .
"We don't have goat meat. It must be the neighbours", Ogboo replied. "Let's play hide and seek" (all in a bid to distract Nyonyo and her brothers). We all, except Nyonyo, agreed.
"I still smell goat meat", she said again
We heard you the first time. Mtchew! Can you just leave the goat alone.

She quickly dashed towards the kitchen and before we could stop her, she found the plate of rat meat. She screamed and dropped the plate nearly throwing our hard labour away.
"What is this? Rat? You people eat rat? Hei! Tufiakwa!", she screamed and screamed. To rub in her point, she ran outside and spat severally. The brothers joined her. She had this disgusted look on her face that made me think if truly we should eat the rat. When her drama died down, she then decided that we play hide and seek (now she wants to play?).
"Hide", I shouted and everyone ran off to hide. Before I closed my eyes to count to ten, I saw Nyonyo run to the kitchen (where would she hide there? Plate, basket?).
"....eight, nine, ten! I am coming!"

I found everyone before I went after Nyonyo. Hers was easy cos there was nowhere to hide in the kitchen. As I entered,  there she was cleaning off something from her mouth. I could have sworn it was red oil but I have a poor eyesight. I can't afford to accuse her unless I was doubly sure. Just as I screamed FOUND YOU, she said they were going and left with her brothers.

We finally sat to eat only to find Toochi's trophy gone. All eyes rested on me. I didn't eat it! I didn't eat it! Ogboo slapped my head severally then handed my share over to Toochi.
"I didn't eat it! I didn't...", I kept saying through tears
"You were the only one that went to the kitchen ", Ogboo said. I was about to say "Nyonyo too" but Nnenna, my sister did. She then called me aside and gave me part of her share. Toochi too gave me out of his (or mine)

Before our parents came back, we cleaned the house, took our baths and gave Toochi a face cap to wear to cover all the lumps.

Happy new month y'all!