Back in time (3)

"She's going", he said

"She's so not going " she said

"She's going, no arguments about that", he replied

"How would she go?"

"What sort of question is that? She'll board a bus, with your help of course"

"You know what I meant..."

Mum and dad went on and on. I waited patiently and prayed that they didn't get to that part where they would count how many times they had repeated the words "she'll go" and "she'll not go".

Knowing that walking away would mean my indirectly saying that I won't go, I sat and hoped that my fate was decided soon.

"...you want Chi to go to your mad brother's place? No! I refuse..."

"Aha! You just called my elder brother mad?", he asked calmly.

"Is he not?", she retorted.

He kept quiet and I thought that to mean consent to Uncle's madness.

Silence...whew!

"We need to let Chi see that there's more to life than climbing palm trees like she always does whenever she visits your brother in the village. I know how much we spent on tetanus toxide treating the gaping wound..."

"What?", she cut him off before he could finish.

"My brother loves tapping palm wine, how is his passion an issue?", she asked in near anger.

"Passion? He's a drunk!", he retorted.

"He's not"

"He is"

"He's not"

"He... "

Here we go again.

I loved my uncles not because they are wonderfully made but because we are related, each with his peculiarly. I really needed to visit Uncle T (popularly called T). He stayed in Onitsha and from what I had heard, once one crossed the Niger Bridge, he or she was in Lagos. I also hoped that visiting him would make him fulfill his promise...of over 3 years, of buying me a school bag. Mum, please agree!

"Ora, go pack your things. You leave tomorrow!"

Yippee! I skipped all around the house being all nice to everyone.

The day finally came and, against my father's wish, mum took me to Onitsha with the excuse that uncle T would forget to come pick me at the park (I thought so too).

Holiday don start o!

Where he lived ehhh...who would have thought that there would be "yards" in Onitsha, a city (as Nollywood would always put it). The house was a block of so many rooms with a long, dark, potholed passageway separating each line of rooms. There was no connecting door between any of the rooms. T had two rooms; bedroom and parlor. The bedroom was 3 rooms away from the parlor (I wondered why) and right opposite the parlor lived the neighbor who never washed her plates or threw away her trash and built a mansion of everything dirty. The bathroom and toilet was far away from the house (I didn't make that plural because it was just one for the fifty rooms and maybe thirty families in the compound. The kitchen...! My uncle's wife didn't really cook that much...thank God! Because if you saw the kitchen...hmmmm! It was so dirty and stuffy. Rats ran the town. Because the toilet and bathroom was never enough, some of the tenants hurriedly took their baths and pooed in buckets right in front of the kitchen. Sometimes, some forgot their wrapped or unwrapped used pads while they were at it. The sight was so gory.

T had 3 kids, two were older than me while the third was 7 months old. The first had a genius problem (as my mum would say). Is a genius not meant to be smart? He would sit all day talking to himself about aliens, spies and vampires. His morning chore was to check tables, chairs and any other thing for wires. What electrician would wire a chair? I usually wondered! In a week, he had slapped me thrice for looking at him and for being a spy.

The second child was on a different level entirely. She never talked like a human. Instead she moaned like a cow. She scared me shitless. We did converse but she was the only one that understood what she was saying. She would often stare at me without blinking for three minutes, moan aloud, then walk away in a hurry with either a smile or a frown on her face.  I interpreted her smile to mean "I'm pleased with you" and her frown "I'm mad at you". But then these expressions could have meant anything in her world.

The last was just some months old but screamed like a witch all the time. To worsen things, she looked like an owl abi na bat. She would just sit in her torn baby chair and howl away. I wondered what she would end up like when she was grown like the 'genius' or the 'baby cow'. There was no TV, no normal children to play with, nowhere to go and the heat na die. I resorted to sitting all by myself, vehemently praying that time went faster.

On several occasions at night, some kind of noise could be heard in the ceiling of the room. I would jump in fear, ready to take off to the nearest shelter (where could that have been?), but the rest of them would remain sleeping soundly. It took five sleepless nights for me to realize they were rats having a swell time at night.

And just when I thought I was getting used to everything unusual, someone came banging one night.

"Mr. man! Open your door!", whoever he was screamed and banged on the door.

Hai! What is it again?!

He banged and banged but none of them woke up. I crawled to where my uncle was in a bid to wake him up from  "death" (it's only the dead that can be asleep in this kind of noise) and he blinded me with a slap. Ah!

"Shhhhhhh. Go back to bed", he said in anger and in a loud whisper.

I did as I was told in more fear and pain, all the while holding back my retort of "...so you are awake?"

The man continued banging. Then silence. Whew!....Then....BOOM!!!! The door was kicked open. It flew off its hinges landing on my uncle who pushed it off and stood on his feet with the speed of light. The wife immediately went on her knees and started begging. I ran?...naaaa! Where was the space to run? I crawled to a corner of the room and wished I could melt into the wall. 'Genius' sat on the floor, held his head and rocked back and forth murmuring "spies", "aliens"! Add thief to your vocabulary, I thought.

"Tabugbo, where's my money? You must give me my money today..." Not a thief?

"Please relax, I'll give it to you tomorrow, " T replied

"Mba! Today you must give me my money. You've been telling me this for the past 8months..."

I still watched, a bit absentminded. Baby cow sat on the floor and moaned loud and long at intervals. I was so sleepy but that wasn't my anger. My anger was that the baby sat on the most comfortable chair in the house and howled non stop. It crossed my mind to strangle her to death and put the blame on temporary madness.

I snapped out of my trance and saw the whole neighborhood gathered.

"Tabugbo, my money....", debt collector kept screaming.

"Oga, abeg...", T's wife kept pleading in tears, still on her knees. She stood and picked up her baby and bounced her on her hips to stop her from howling. Women dey try sha!

"Please, I'll give you tomorrow ", T said repeatedly.

We were such a sorry sight. Some advocates came to our aid.

"Oga, how much be this money?"

"600 naira", he replied.

I thought I hadn't heard correctly, but then so many of the neighbors hissed and walked away. The baby's howling didn't matter anymore. Can we sleep now?! 600 naira?! Neighbors contributed and the man left with his money.

The greatest ordeal wasn't the paying, but the living in an open compound with a broken down door. The sleepless nights went on as we took turns in watching the door at night. A chair was strategically kept by the door for the watchman for the night. I didn't want the school bag anymore. I didn't care about crossing the bridge and going to Lagos. I just wanted to go home. I was so angry at my dad for allowing me...gosh! I decided that I wouldn't talk to him ever. I cried and cried until I was scarlet red. The watchman's job wasn't even really necessary because nobody bothered us. Who would when T couldn't even pay his debt of 600 bucks?!

I was so humbled. I kept to myself (not like I had a choice). Then I heard my aunt tell her husband, "T, have you considered taking this girl home to her parents? She's always crying and stays by herself. I think she's abnormal..."

I'm the abnormal one? Seriously?

One day, we (Genius,  Baby cow and I) were left alone at home. So not a good idea. Genius muttered words like birds, expensive...that was an improvement. More words in his thin vocabulary, I thought. Baby cow sat at a distance and stared at me, never blinking. I would look away and look back to find her still staring at me. Define uncomfortable. I left them and stepped out to build sand castles on a heap of sand. Boy, was the sun blazing! The sun burnt me all over but it still felt better than staying indoors.

After some hours, I got tired and went in. Genius was nowhere to be found while the other still sat in the same spot where I left her. O boy! She continued her never blink stares. I left for the parlor and she followed me. Mmmhh! She sat right in front of me and stared. I mustered some courage and stared back at her. She laughed. Hmmmm. Now, that was deep.

Our bonding was cut short as I heard noises in the ceiling. At first I thought it was the rats but...this was different. We both looked at the ceiling and waited. The heavy noise continued and it seemed like it was right on top of us. I shifted base with Mmasichi (of course, baby cow has a name). The noise continued, then...BOOM! All hell broke loose as a human being fell through the ceiling. I held on to Mmasichi and ran outside screaming just in time to see my mum headed towards the house.

I let go of Mmasichi's hands and ran to her. I held her legs and sobed.

"What is it", she asked, so worried

She carried Mma and held my hand. I was so choked up that I couldn't speak. All I could do was point towards the house. She went in with us and..

"Chineke!", she screamed

Genius hung upside down from the gaping ceiling. What held him was his belt and a tiny piece of wood. Mum lowered Mma and went to loosen him. He bled all over.

"How did you get there?", mum screamed. She cleaned him with cotton wool and water. He kept screaming 'birds' and 'expensive'. I looked at the gaping ceiling and saw how rats would fall on top us at night. I shivered!

In all the drama, I packed my bag. By then T was back. Mum told me that I still had three days left and told me that she knew I was having fun.

"I'm on my way to see Aunt Joy in Asaba. I'll come pick you on my way back, okay?", she said

I nodded and smiled weakly. As she stood up to leave, I broke into tears. I ran for my bag all the while shouting "a ji m ala" (I'll go home).

Mum asked that I stay but I vehemently refused. As I left, Mma broke into tears. Awwwww! That was so pretty! But I had to go! #straightfaced#

Happy new month!