B A C K I N T I M E

Let's go back in time when watching movie was limited. Haha. When people ask me now why I love watching stuff now, I'd usually smile and tell them I'm making up for lost time. 

My parents had six intelligent children (oh yes!), but intelligence without hard work was just intelligence. So we grew up knowing there was time for everything. Time to read, to play, to cry, to joke, to farm....to watch a movie!

We all knew that Saturday mornings; after cleaning the whole house, washing our pile of dirty clothes, washing loads of plates and pots, weeding, picking palm fruits, cutting grass for the goats...whatever chore that came along...and a massive shower, was movie time. Hehe! Everyone had a chore and had to finish before we could file to the parlor for movie time. No one could be left out. My people of God, no team work and team bond beat that. Haha!

...And then Ogbonna, the video machine prefect, with the blessing and permission of my daddy, would head to my parents room to carry out the video machine. It was a special machine from London. It even had a bag. Very special! Ojiugoeze and I had a puff in front of the TV as our albinistic eyes didn't see much. We'd all sit so meek and humble like lambs waiting for the special Saturday movie - Princess Diana's Wedding. The routine worked and every Saturday was Princess Diana time. I gushed over her excessively long dress, the chariots...walahi being a princess is beautiful o. We watched it joyously and awwwwwed where necessary.

And then one Saturday, we had something else to watch. Wow! It was a beautiful movie, but at this moment I can't remember the title. My eyes were opened to the reality of movies other than Princess Diana's Wedding. Wow! I nearly kissed my dad for the change. 

From then on, every Saturday was something different. Then one day, it was reeeally different. People started kissing in the movie! Ha! How do you react to a kissing scene with your parents right in the room? I looked at the ceiling and counted to ten. By the time I looked back to the TV, the kissing was over. Thank God! Thankfully, there was no more kiss kiss.

Then another Saturday came along and we followed our routine. It wasn't Princess Diana's Wedding, thankfully! It was one on family togetherness and stuff like that. It started well. Then the kissing started. These oyibo people sef! Pity me na! My parents are here na! I stared at the ceiling for some seconds and guaged when the kissing would stop. I then looked at the screen and the kissing had advanced, with tongue. I shut my eyes and turned on my puff, facing my parents. I just wanted them to know that I wasn't watching the forbidden scene.

I listened to hear the voices showing the scene had ended and all I heard was Nnenna humming to a song I didn't know. It gladdened my heart knowing I was not the only one fidgeting. I got off my puff and walked to the shelf at the corner of the sitting room. It held mum's must precious glass wares. It's always locked. I peeped through the glass like I was looking for hidden treasure, all the while using the glass as a mirror to see the kissing status. Clothes were being taken off and through the corner of my eyes, I saw mum staring at me like I were a thief about to make away with her most expensive belongings. I summoned courage and walked back to my seat. I was not the only child there after all....

...Kissing turned to more kissing and I thought to myself that the things I saw weren't right. What happened to going to the bed or covering themselves with a duvet? But here they stood at the head of the stairs doing...doing...GOSH!

"Ora, there are dirty plates to wash", my mum's voice cut into my thought. I found my mouth agape and my head tilted to a side. It took me a while to take in what she said. Plates! but the movie has not ended. I turned on my puff to find I was the only one in the sitting room besides my parents. Betrayaaaal! Hahaha!

Mum repeated herself angrily and I ran out in shame to find the others keeping busy with one thing or the other. Okwuchukwu took to weeding the farm, the boys left to fetch food for the goats, Egoonu washed all the rags while Nnenna sat at the dining area going through stacks of books. Her concentration amazed me and she did not like books much. I guess everyone chose the punishment they could bear.

Knowing that I washed plates in the morning, my heart was at peace. I stood wondering what I could choose as my own punishment. Maybe I could watch the 9 o'clock news with dad just to show how sorry I was for watching people kiss and stuff...

..."are you done with the plates?", mum charged towards me swinging a huge cane. I ran out grabbing the washing pot. I filled it up with water and detergent though I was sure there were no plates but who was I kidding? Mum changed her mind about flogging me. Instead, she fished out all the extra dirty plates in the kitchen - black pots, dusty broken plates that nobody used, baskets, rusted spoons, pans - anything she could lay her hands on. By the time she was done, I wished she flogged me a million times. By the time I was finished, I was almost in tears. My feet were muddy from splashes of water on Nsukka red soil and my waist felt like it shifted a notch from too much lifting and bending. The kitchen could not contain all the plates I washed. Mum should have just killed me! Mtscheeeeeew!

When another Saturday came, we silently changed our routine without being asked. After the morning chores, we filed to the dining area and read our books like good children. Since the long vacation just started, one would wonder what we were reading for.

Another Saturday came and it was Princess Diana's Wedding all over again.