Grrrrrrr!

The day wasn't supposed to turn out the way it did but it sure did! I'm not God and as a mere human, all I can do is pray to my God and hope for a good day!!

It was one of those days I wake up and wish I didn't have to! Geez! My whole body ached! I didn't go clubbing, I didn't make midnight call (do people still do that?), I didn't do nothing! All I did was go to work on Monday morning, come back home on Thursday morning around 12am and climb the gate since Kabiru, the night watchman, sleeps at night too! That was all I did! I'm meant to be at work by 8am!

I dragged myself off the bed! Can't remember how I prepared or how I chose what I wore! (Looking back now at how I dressed for the day makes me laugh uncontrollably! I think I heard a colleague ask in a whisper if it was rag day). Somehow, I made it downstairs to the car! From my house to the office, I slept like there was no night! Coming out from the car felt like tooth ache! Wished I could just glide on the floor or even fly! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

I got to my work station successfully! Took me ages though! I turned on the system and cried out in pain! Didn't need any instruction to close my eyes! I groped in my bag for my shades and face cap which I wore with no care in the world! Nobody in my unit cared cos they were in the same predicament! My head felt like a wicked child was playing drums in it!

I struggled to keep my eyes open. (Can't stop laughing! Still wondering how foolish I must ve looked). I tried so hard to do my job. I typed and typed, calculated and recalculated! Ah! Sleep no gree! I went to the toilet and jumped up several times. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and screamed at it all in the bid to wake myself up fully. I danced to beats unheard! As I just started my alanta moves, my group head walked into the toilet. I didn't know if I should greet, apologise or just walk away! The shocked look on her face made me mumble something as I walked away!

Back at my station, I continued with the work I was given to do! I wore a serious look on my face ( or so I thought ). And then I woke up with a jerk! Haha!! I must ve snored cos everyone stared at me! My fingers were still on the keyboard! Silly!!

My boss called me! I turned around and he said something for like a minute and all I heard was the first word he said, my name. He finished talking (I think) and I kept staring at him! I bent my head to the side to get a better look of his mouth to make sure he has stopped talking! He looked at me and said GO! Go where? I had no idea where but I did go but not to where my boss wanted me (wherever that was).


I went to the toilet, locked the door, put on my ear phones and slept off! Life was bliss at that moment! Oh!! Whoever designed this toilet deserves to be paid again! It has a well placed pillow behind the seat! I slept for...for...so long! Was a bit refreshed when I woke up. I stood up and heard foot steps outside the door! As a badt girl, I flushed the toilet just to make it seem like I used it for what its meant for! I open the door and standing at the sink was a white man! 'Man' being the operative word! I screamed in shock and he screamed too!! See me see this man o! Why is he screaming? I'm the one with the right to do so, young man!! I forgot to wash my hands as I ran out only to see a well drawn male figure at the door of the toilet!! Chai!! I don mess up!!

As I got to my office, my boss was waiting for an answer! Just as I was about to tell him that I didn't hear what he said, he asked me if I saw him. (Saw who? I dunno). I told him no and sat down like a dummy!

It was 2pm already and I haven't done a thing! By 3pm, I realised that even using tooth pick to hold my eye lids won't stop it from closing!! I quietly locked my system and went to the toilet for another round of well deserved sleep! This time, I made sure it was for female!


At 6pm, my eyes blinked open! I smiled! (Didn't know why). I listened for movement outside the door! None! I stepped out of the toilet and sang as I washed my hands and finger combed my hair! When I was ready to face the world, I tried opening the door that leads to all the toilets (male and female) and it was locked! I tried again! No show! OH MY GOD!! Did somebody lock me in or what? I silently told myself to keep calm. No panic!!


I heard voices outside the door! Thank God!! I banged on the door and cried for help!! They asked if I was alright! I'm not!! Can't u guys see I'm trapped in the toilet!! Then I realised that in my hurry to sleep, I locked out everybody!! Ah!! For 3hrs!! Ah!! How will I explain myself? Oh God help me!!


I'm not a good liar so I stick to telling the truth all the time! And with a plan to apologise to everyone, I gently unlocked the door!! A sea of eyes stared at me!! Dunno what or how it happened but I broke down into uncontrollable tears!! Hahahaha! If they were pissed or pressed, that was forgotten! As they consoled me, I told my story of how the silly door malfunctioned and locked me in for hours and how I called out and lost my voice in the process, how my whole body aches (truly was)... The ehyah was unending. Just as my boss asked me to go home (God bless him), one bad belle came from nowhere to announce that there was nothing wrong with the lock!! Who ask this man eh? Detective investigator bad belle!! Mtchew!

I felt better! I felt so good I took a bus instead of a cab as I planned in the morning!

And then I got home! Big bro served me dinner in bed! He asked me how my day was! We talked for hours! Awesome! In the morning, boss called and asked me to take the month off! The month!! He realised I've been stressed and I need to rest. Awesome! I spent a week at La Campaigne Tropicana beach resort where I fell in love with the most handsome man!! Awwwwww!! And on our wedding day, as I was about to say I do, someone said in the most 'toutish' voice ever, 'Yellow, you no go comot?' I looked around the church and couldn't find the tout! I looked at the priest and he smiled! Ha! 'Yellow!! Comot jhor! Na my bus be your house?!'

No! No! No! My life was awesome before I woke up! To worsen my case, I wasn't at Costain or Anthony!! I was at...at...at...don't know!! I quietly asked the driver and he said MUSHIN!! Mush what? What part of Lagos is that? Geez!! Mush what? Ohhhhhhhhhh! Help me God!!

I hailed a cab as fast as I could! I reminded him at every bus stop that I was going to Anthony!


Got home safely and wondered why I even went to work in the first place! What did I achieve today? Whew!!!