Pinky's Diaries

Childhood was beautiful. Those were fun times. There were ups and downs but, have no doubt that whenever I look back to how we were, I'd always end up smiling foolishly. Dad always had a story to tell and he was really good at it. His stories ranged from boring stuff about family, life and future to funny stories that left us rolling on the floor with laughter. It was one of those story days and dad chose to tell us war stories. He said a lot of captivating and heart breaking stuff but the only part that got stuck in our brains was how hunger made them eat rats. Sometimes they ate them raw cos there was no fire... ...and that was how we became rat hunters. There was no war but we were hungry and since there was always fire, we didn't have to eat them raw (thank God). We took the hunting really seriously.  Just when deep freezers started reigning in Nsukka, mum bought one. NEPA kinda knew cos that was when they chose to seize power for over a yea...

"She's going", he said "She's so not going " she said "She's going, no arguments about that", he replied "How would she go?" "What sort of question is that? She'll board a bus, with your help of course" "You know what I meant..." Mum and dad went on and on. I waited patiently and prayed that they didn't get to that part where they would count how many times they had repeated the words "she'll go" and "she'll not go". Knowing that walking away would mean my indirectly saying that I won't go, I sat and hoped that my fate was decided soon. "...you want Chi to go to your mad brother's place? No! I refuse..." "Aha! You just called my elder brother mad?", he asked calmly. "Is he not?", she retorted. He kept quiet and I thought that to mean consent to Uncle's madness. Silence...whew! "We need to let Ch...

Christmas is here and I can't help but remember how it used to be. For different people, the season has different meanings; for us, it meant hard labour mixed with fun and stupidity. School normally closed on the 16th for the Christmas holidays. While our mates talked at length about how they would either travel out of the country or watch movies till thy kingdom come, all we thought about was how we would process palm fruits and kemel before we 'may' consider travelling to the village. It was never an easy task. For almost a week, we would bend over heaps and heaps of palm kernel separating them from their shells. Little wonder we didn't develop hunchbacks but we Kept our eyes on the price - Christmas day! On the 24th,we set out for the village in dad's Volkswagen beetle. Mum sat at the back seat with my 5 siblings and my uncle. Dad drove while l sat on a kitchen stool between him and the Christmas goat, bag of rice and our belongings packed in different color...

Piak! Shiap! Piak! Goron!Don't be scared! I'm not mad yet! How else would you want me to explain mum's 'konks' (knocks) and slaps! I would have used 'whoop' but then you would think its just one weightless chiding followed by "..go seat in your naughty chair" or "You are grounded for a day! Go to your room!" My mama no get that kine time! The only ground you get to see is when she's rubbing your nose in it. See eh...if you ever thought that seeing stars after a slap was just some sort of cartoon exaggeration then you must be mistaken! Mum's slap will make you see a galaxy. There was no "..I'm sorry mum. I won't do it again." Hahahahaha! Imagine! She's stammering with anger, holding on to your trousers or whatever you are wearing and hitting your back side with so much vehemence over some silly thing you did...all you will be shouting is E kpo m nooo (I'm finished)...a nwu m noooo (I'm dead) ...ma...